Ranma One Quarter, or less
by JeremyGU
Summary: This is a mangled sort-of Ranma parody. Ranma x Airplane! x Family Guy x a million other things. It literally makes no sense. This fic will bolster every other work on this site.


_A/N: What you are about to read makes no sense. Well, no... it makes a little sense. But... very little. I try to write fics in various styles— some more serious; some more lighthearted. This particular work is entirely silliness. I'm not talking Family Guy silliness; I'm talking Monty Python/the movie Airplane silliness. You'll see._

_Some warnings about this work: 1) I can personally guarantee that this will have the lowest literary value of anything you've ever read on this site. It has no artistic value; it doesn't even have autistic value. 2) The language will be deplorable for comedic purposes. NSFW. 3) This shamelessly rips off... everything. 4) This is a Ranma ½ fic, but the Ranma connection is mangled. Elephant-man-in-a-car-crash mangled. Ergo, don't whine that they're out of character; it wouldn't work if they were._

_And of course... I do not own Ranma ½. If I were commercially vested in the franchise, I wouldn't even consider publishing the steaming pile that you're about to read._

_**EDIT: FFNet's site broke right after I uploaded this. I'm serious. It really did.**  
_

_Ready? No, you're not. Liar. Here we go anyway._

* * *

Ranma, with Akane on his shoulders, leapt onto the roof of the Tendo house, setting Akane down next to him. She scanned the horizon. "I didn't think we'd ever lose him!" she said, relieved. Ranma nodded, but kept looking. "He'll find us," he said. "Kuno knows where you live for sure. You'd think after his pigtailed goddess threw lighter fluid on him and chased him around with a lit cigarette he'd get the hint, but I guess not. If _that_ didn't stop him, running away won't, either."

As if on cue, Kuno hopped over the wall, half a flower store in his arms. "Akane Tendo!" he called out, not seeing the object of his affection. He looked around frantically. Akane went to duck, but didn't move fast enough, and was quickly spotted. "Akane Tendo!" he cried. "I have come to date with you! It will be..."

**Whack!**

The handle of a garden rake collided with his face. "Hmmnmmm," he muttered, in perfect Kelsey Grammer style, stepping back to let the rack fall. He turned and took another step. **Whack!** "Hmmnmmm." He turned. **Whack!** "Hmmnmmm."

Ranma and Akane watched from the roof with some amusement, wondering how long it would take Kuno to wander his way out of the 437 rakes they'd laid out across the lawn. One thing was certain: he'd be in some serious pain by then.

**Whack!** "Hmmnmmm..."

* * *

**We apologize for this unwarranted intrusion from _The Simpsons_. Those responsible have been sacked.**

* * *

Later, Ranma and Akane were in the latter's bedroom. Having just finished an hour of coitus, Ranma was recharging, while Akane lay expectantly on her bed. He wandered across the room, gazing idly out the window. Akane rolled over and shot the pigtailed boy an irritated glance. "Damn it, Ranma," she muttered, "will you get back over here? In case you never explored your girl side, girls don't just quit after the first one!"

"Let me be, Akane. It's been five minutes and I'm still drained. Literally."

"Pussy."

"Suck my left nut and make the right on jealous."

His attention still directed out the window, he spied something in the street. It was Nabiki, in an impossibly small tank top and Daisy Dukes, washing a car at the curb. Why she was doing this when she possessed neither her own car, nor a driver's license, was anybody's guess. Regardless, she appeared to be either an exhibitionist or aware that she was being watched, for she started going _Cool Hand Luke_ with the sponge she was using, unleashing a river of suds that ran from her cleavage all the way between her legs.

This immediately grabbed Ranma's attention.

He leaned for a better look, absentmindedly grazing his genitalia with a free hand. His enjoyment was interrupted after only a few seconds, when he felt a presence near him. Or, more specifically, next to him, also looking out the window. Knowing there was danger that he couldn't escape, Ranma braced as he slowly shifted his gaze to his enraged fiancée, who was already brandishing her giant hammer. "My sister?" she said in a dangerously quiet tone. "You can't get it up for me, but you're about to pop one off watching my sister?"

"Actually, it would have been a few more minutes..."

"Ranma, you dickless hentai!"

The giant hammer sent him flying through the window, sending shards of glass flying. He dropped toward the yard, took a headfirst bounce off of the perimeter wall, and landed in the koi pond, activating his girl side. The redhead climbed out, walking dripping into the washitsu.

Inside, she was met by Kasumi, who was putting on a trenchcoat over some stunning lingerie. Must have been getting ready for her job at the local gentlemen's club, Ranma figured. Kasumi noticed her. "Oh, good, I found somebody," she said. "Listen, I won't be home to cook dinner tonight. I've got a private show around six. Can you and Akane get some carryout for everyone?"

Ranma plopped down at the table. "Sure thing," she said sadly.

"Oh, Ranma, what's the matter?"

"I am not getting laid for a _long_ time."

"What'd you do this time?"

Ranma scowled at the oldest Tendo before continuing. "Oh, Akane caught me looking at Nabiki doing her carwash thing out there in the street. As you'd probably guess, she ain't happy. I think I glued her legs shut for the next year, at least."

"Oh, good! Nabiki's practicing her routine! I got her to audition at the club. I've been trying to get Akane on board, too, but she won't go for it. Too much of a fear of perverts, I guess."

"Yeah, well, she ought to know that I like her figure better than Nabiki's. But sometimes guys like a little variety! I'd just rolled off of her!"

"Clearly she's never been in the room when you saw me in my work clothes, huh?" She gyrated her hips.

Ranma covered her eyes. "It's all very nice, Kasumi, but please stop. I've dug a deep enough hole already. Last thing I need is to get caught lookin' at you, too!"

Kasumi closed the trenchcoat. "I understand. Maybe she doesn't realize you care about her. I mean, you've been poking her in the butt for a few months, now, but have you even told her you loved her? That's pretty important, you know. Most girls aren't going to keep smoking your pole without a little affection in return."

Ranma looked down. "Nah. I'm afraid of how she'll react. She might not even believe me! I mean... what if she doesn't feel the same way?"

The eldest Tendo smiled sweetly. "Well, one of these days your balls will drop and you'll figure out how to talk to her. Don't take too long, though. You know how much of Nerima's lining up for a shot at her." She turned to leave. "By the way, Ranma, I keep telling you. Your girl side would be perfect for the club. The house fee's only 4000 yen and you can pull in 15,000 a night easy!"

"And I keep telling _you_, I'll think about it."

"Okay. See you later, Ranma."

Ranma gave her a halfhearted wave, still deep in thought. Kasumi was right. She couldn't keep riding the horse without feeding it a carrot once in a while. Figuratively speaking. Besides, she really did care about Akane. It was obvious... wasn't it? There were much more important things in the world than getting laid. After all, if she wanted a piece of Nabiki, it would only cost a few thousand yen. That girl quite literally put a price on everything.

The mathematics reminded her of Kasumi's job offer. She was right about that, too. That was a hell of a lot of money. And, if it weren't for the fact that Nabiki would surely demand hush money or favors for a little side action, she'd know the ideal way to spend it.

An off smell shook her from her thoughts. She looked around, trying to find the source, before determining that it was coming in through the open shoji. She rose and walked outside, spotting her panda father walking away from a pile of dung at least as tall as she was. Now in the outside air, she caught the scent full force, nearly fainting from the stench. Several nearby flowers wilted.

"Pop, you stinky fuck! Change back into your normal form before you drop a load! Smelly douche..."

Genma pulled out one of his signs. "WHAT'S UP YOUR ASS?"

"Nothing. Akane's just acting like she's on her period, even though she just got over it. I am so frickin' glad I'm not _really_ a girl."

Someone cleared their throat behind her. She already knew what was coming, and knew there was no escape. She turned to see a fuming Akane, again, and immediately found herself on her back, right in the middle of the pile of dung. "Fine, Ranma," Akane shouted. "Next time you have an urge, you can play five on one!" She stormed back in the house. Genma followed, stopping to smirk at his female son.

He produced another sign. "NOW WHO'S THE SMELLY DOUCHE?"

"Fuck you, pop. Fuck you."

* * *

The following morning, Ranma awoke to a quiet house. He peeked out the door before leaving his room. Attempts to get some tail before bed had been fruitless, but he'd thought that things might be better in the morning. Maybe, after some sleep, Akane had calmed down. Besides, she'd totally paid him back. It took an hour to get rid of the smell of panda feces.

Coming down the steps, Ranma found Akane in the hallway, having returned from her morning run. He walked up behind her, putting his hands on her shoulders. "Akane, sweetie?" he said. "You still mad?" He was met with stony silence. "Akane?" He gave her a playful pinch on the butt, which earned him a punch in the balls. He dropped to the floor in agony.

"Jesus tapdancing Christ, Akane..." he moaned, as she walked away smugly.

He heard another step, and looked up to see Kasumi walking in. She walked up beside him.

"You okay, Ranma-kun?"

"Well, I can see inside your trenchcoat from here, so it's not all bad."

Kasumi took his hand and helped him to his feet. "I'm guessing Akane's still mad, huh?"

"Apparently."

"Well, you'd better figure out some way to show her how much you care. You sure have a knack for saying and doing the wrong thing."

"Yeah, I know... but she ought to be used to that by now!"

"Ranma, there are at least a hundred boys your age in Nerima that would cut their arms off it meant getting Akane's ankles behind her head. Remember that. You say the wrong thing one time too many, and she's going to find somebody nicer."

Ranma just nodded.

"Have a seat in to the washitsu, Ranma-kun. I made some Daifuku last night."

"That sounds great right now," Ranma said, stumbling into the room. Inside, he found Nabiki watching television. He staggered to the table and crumpled to the floor across from her, while she gave him a smug glance.

"Didn't mean to get you in trouble, Ranma-kun."

"How do you know what me and Akane are fighting about?"

"Akane yelled so loud yesterday that I heard her from the street."

"Figures."

"You, know, Ranma... it made me think. I should talk to Akane. Maybe we can arrange a three-way... if the price is right..."

Ranma looked at her incredulously. "You really think this is the right time to bring this up? Not in a million years! I'd rather turn female and make it with Kuno than dig the hole deeper with Akane!"

"Surely you don't mean that."

"I do mean it, and don't call me..."

"Old joke, Ranma."

"Hey, do I look brilliant enough to come up with real material?"

Nabiki smirked. "No, you sure don't."

Ranma shot her a dirty look. She feigned absentmindedness. After a moment, she nonchalantly popped the button holding her top closed. Ranma covered his eyes. "Shit, Nabiki," he said, "do you know how much trouble I'd get in if..." He stole a glance and immediately turned his full attention to the pair. "Whoa," he said in surprise, "when did you get the nipple rings?"

Nabiki fingered the piercings. "Oh, you like them? I just got them put in last week. I thought they'd be good for the new job."

"Yeah, I heard you're working with Kasumi. Still... put them away before you get me in trouble."

Nabiki shrugged and closed her shirt. "You're worrying about nothing, though. She's at the fair at the community college."

Ranma's head snapped up. "Community college?" Visions of horny fraternity guys began to swirl through his head. Bad visions. "I gotta get down there right away!"

"Aw, is wittle Ranma afraid of wosing his fiancée?"

"Damn it, Nabiki, you know I am!"

"Maybe you should try not being a fucktard all the time. I'd think _that_ would be a lot easier than screwing up and kissing ass to make up for it. Or maybe I'm missing something. Maybe there's a method to your madness." She smirked.

Ranma, panicked and now slightly angry, smacked his hand on the table. "Nabiki, you urine-reeking streetwalker! In case you haven't been paying attention, I've got a real problem here! Help me out! When did she leave?"

"Hey... how did you know I like golden showers?"

Ranma blinked. "Okay, first... _ew!_ And second, answer my God damn question!"

"Relax, Ranma. She had skating team practice at the high school first. She's probably not even at the fair yet."

"Oh, thank Kami. Okay I'm leaving." With that, he bolted out the door.

* * *

Fortunately for Ranma, his roof-jumping abilities got him to the community college in a matter of minutes. There was a decent crowd there, but no sign of Akane. Breathing a sigh of relief, he perched himself in a tree, watching the crowd for a familiar face.

Without warning, something sliced the branch under him cleanly from the tree. Before he could respond, Ranma found himself on the ground, flat on his back. "Motherfucker..." he moaned, sitting up and rubbing his neck. He became aware of the presence of his attacker, and looked up to see Ryoga staring down at him. "Go away, Ryoga," he muttered. "I'm looking for Akane. She's pissed off at me and I'm afraid she's coming here on a penis quest."

"Ranma, you make me sick. Akane treats you like a king, and all you do is make her angry time and time again!"

Ranma struggled to his feet. "Ryoga, you jealous douche. Nothing I do can remotely compare to disguising myself as an animal and jamming my face between her lumps without her knowing."

Ryoga reddened. "You made me this way, Saotome!"

"I don't make you visit twin peaks, fucknut!"

Ryoga stomped a foot as if he couldn't develop a response. "Like _you_ ever get that close."

"I sure as shit do, oinks. I've been in every hole on her body. Sometimes, more than one at a time."

Ryoga was confused. "How the hell do you manage that?"

"It requires a lot of flexibility."

Ryoga waved a hand dismissively. "I could still show her a better time. You don't circumnavigate the globe on accident without picking up a few tricks."

"Like you've ever got laid. You wouldn't even know what to do."

"Like hell I don't!"

"If you were getting laid even once a year, you wouldn't eyeball my girl side every time you see it. You look like you're imagining every thing Akane and I do for real!"

Ryoga reddened again, this time out of embarrassment. "I am _not_ attracted to you, Ranma!"

Ranma smirked, grabbing a bottle of water that way laying nearby and dumping it over his head. His line of sight instantly dropped by a few inches, and he felt the extra weight as the boobs sprouted. Now a girl, Ranma glomped onto Ryoga.

"Aw, c'mon Ryoga! Don't you want to feel my humps? My humps? My lovely lady humps?"

"I'd rather listen to that song a million times over!"

Ranma breathed onto his neck. "You sure about that?" she whispered in Ryoga's ear. To her surprise, she felt Ryoga's hands slide onto her butt and something poke her at the waist. Ryoga started to kiss down her neck; she shoved him away roughly. "Jesus, Ryoga!" she shouted. "I was fucking with you! Chill!" She looked at the lost boy, whose brain seemed to be offline, and her eyes traveled downward to what she'd felt grinding into her. Then, she remembered a promise that she and Akane had worked out: it was only cheating with a member of the opposite sex. They both liked to explore, after all. She sized Ryoga up again, thinking of the fact that failure to win Akane back meant an extended dry spell. "Aw, fuck it," she said, grabbing him and dragging him into the nearest bush.

A half hour later, the redhead popped up from the bush, breathing hard. "Well, Ryoga," she said frankly, "I gotta give you credit. There is one place where you _don't_ get lost." She stood up, straightening her ruffled clothes, and took off at a brisk walk. Aside from wanting to find Akane, she really did not want to engage in figurative pillow talk with Ryoga. That would be weirder than the sex they'd just had.

Jumping atop a nearby light pole, she scanned the area. Again, there was no sign of Akane, but now she saw more familiar faces: Shampoo and Ukyo, with food carts set up side-by-side. Could these two not take a hint? For crying out loud, she not only rode Akane like a horse, but she'd taken both Konatsu and Mousse aside and dressed them in Ranma clothes, to try and fool the two women. They both had long, dark hair, after all— it wasn't a difficult disguise to pull off. That plan had actually worked in both cases, until the coitus was over and the girls discovered who they'd just been plowed by. Both males spent a week at Tofu's clinic from the beating they'd received, though they always claimed it was worth it.

She was about to jump down when she heard shouts. "Airen!" "Ranchan!" "Son of a bitch..." she muttered, sliding down the pole to stand by the food carts. Both girls glomped onto her, nearly squeezing the breath out of her lungs. Having doting girls like these had a purpose, however: a never-ending supply of helpers. Ranma looked at both girls. "Could one of you get some hot water?" she asked sweetly. The two hapless fiancées ran to their carts, grabbing for something to make good on Ranma's request. Ukyo was faster, managing to toss a potful of water all over Ranma.

Boiling water.

The now-male Ranma let out a scream. "Motherfucker! Ow! Damn it!" He jumped up and down to try to shake the burn. "Ukyo, you careless prick, you boiled me like a lobster! Geez!" Shampoo turned smug, muttering something in Chinese. Ukyo, now looking embarrassed toward Ranma and angry at Shampoo, jumped at the latter, and a brawl ensued. At first, Ranma wasn't particularly interested. After all, these types of fights were pretty commonplace in Nerima.

Then, a gallon jug of cooking oil overturned onto the pair. That was the point at which things officially became interesting.

So interesting, in fact, that a small crowd started to gather. Ranma didn't notice the other males placing bets... until the bookie turned out to be a familiar Tendo. "Ranma!" Nabiki said, causing him to nearly jump out of his skin. He spun around to face her. "Ranma," she continued, "if Akane sees you watching this, you'll be wearing your scrotum as a hat!" He nodded sheepishly, starting to slink away. Nabiki was observant, however, immediately noticing a visible bulge on the pigtailed boy. Ranma followed where her eyes were fixed, blushing while she smirked at him. "Better not let her notice that, either," she said with a chuckle.

Ranma nodded, turning away. "Clear your mind, Saotome," he muttered to himself. "Dead kittens. Dead kittens."

Nabiki came up behind him, reached around, and grabbed the exact area she'd been paying attention to. Ranma nearly jumped out of his skin. "Just to punish you," she purred, "I'm going to rev you up even more. Let's see you calm down after this!" She gave the item in her hand a seductive tug while she exhaled on his neck. Beads of sweat formed on his forehead.

After what seemed like an eternity, she released him, giving his butt a pat. "Good luck walking like that," she said with a giggle, and went back to collecting bets.

Ranma darted out of the crowd. Little did Nabiki know, but Ranma could easily clear his mind with one memory— Ryoga's schwanz. As a girl, she enjoyed it. As a boy, he could picture it, but it didn't give him a single good feeling. He breathed a sigh of relief as his problem ebbed. And, as luck would have it, he spotted Akane, with Sayuri and Yuka.

He approached the trio, with Akane turning her nose up. "Oh, Ranma," she said, aloof. "So you came here to get another eyeful of another girl. Or maybe, you're trying to hit on my friends here." Her eyes narrowed. "You'd better not be hitting on my friends, Ranma..."

Ranma dropped to one knee, doing his best Bill-Cosby's-kids-asking-him-for-chocolate-cake-for-breakfast impression. "Akane," he said with as much sugar as he could muster. "I would never dream of looking at another woman!"

"Bullshit!"

"Hey, I'm trying to be sincere here!"

"Trying and failing..."

"Nice," one of Akane's friends said.

Ranma stood. "So I'm supposed to believe that you haven't looked at a single guy here?"

Akane suddenly spotted something behind him. "I hadn't until now..." she said, slightly dazed. Ranma spun around, and saw the worst thing to appear around a girlfriend: a wannabe surfer with a guitar. This particular gentleman was sitting Indian-style, a crowd of girls flocking to him.

"Geez, Akane, don't tell me you're falling for that steaming pile."

"What are you talking about?"

"Getting chicks with a guitar. It's the oldest douchebag trick in the book."

"To what book are you referring? And, if there's a book of tricks, how can one trick be the oldest? They're all exactly as old as the book is. Or, did you mean to say the trick that appears first in the book?"

Ranma facepalmed, knowing a diversion tactic when he heard it. Sure enough, Akane and company turned to watch the guitarist, who was strumming one chord per measure, apparently envisioning himself as the next Bob Dylan. He started singing. If you could call it that.

_I want to change the world  
Walk again, never miss the way  
Don't be afraid I'm with you  
And we can fly away  
If you can stay with me forever  
Change my mind  
Won't get lost if your passion's true  
I'm gonna fly with you  
So you can spread your wings  
And you will fly with me away  
It's wonderland_

* * *

**We would again like to apologize for this inappropriate intrusion from _InuYasha_. Those responsible for sacking those from the last intrusion, have themselves been sacked.**

Shippo flew in, landing on the ground. "Now, for something we hope you'll _really_ like!"

* * *

Ranma sat on the steps of the community college, defeated. He'd tried. He really had. But he'd seen her eyes glaze over as she watched that goofy-looking prick trying to play the guitar. Who cares if half the chords he played were the wrong ones? It still had half the girls there wriggling out of their underwear.

He heard someone sit next to him. Looking up, he was surprised to see Akane. She smirked. "Not very fun having your fiancée swoon over someone else, is it?" she asked.

"I wasn't swooning over Nabiki! I was just looking!"

"If you think those are two different things, you haven't spent enough time as a girl!"

Ranma opened his mouth to speak, but realized that he had no response. Akane laid her head on his shoulder. "I don't like being mad, Ranma," she whispered. "What you did made me mad at first, but it was more that it hurt me. Sometimes, it doesn't seem like you... you know... care."

Ranma took a breath. "Akane," he said. "I love you. I'm sorry I never say so, but I do. Yeah, I look at other girls sometimes, and I have plenty of crazy fiancées that glomp on me and feel my balls no matter how much I swat their hands away, but you're the only person I ever imagine being with a year from now. Or ten years from now. Or a hundred. I mean it."

He looked down at Akane, to see a smile on her face and tears in the corners of her eyes. She threw her arms around him, as he squeezed her back. Neither said anything... they didn't have to. Everything that needed said, had been.

* * *

That night, Ranma, Genma, Soun, and the three Tendo sisters sat around a campfire at the fair. Ranma sat with his arm around Akane, while the two fathers sat in teary-eyed bliss. Kasumi turned to the couple. "So, Ranma, Akane," she said. "It sounds like you're past the whole looking-doesn't-mean-I-don't-care phase, huh?" They looked at eachother, smiled, and nodded in unison. Kasumi grinned. "So would that mean that you'd be willing to do a little dancing? There's a huge hole in the schedule that needs to be filled."

"Giggity," Ranma said involuntarily.

Akane spoke up. "Well," she said. "Guys are all perverts, but if Ranma was there with me, it couldn't be too bad, right? Of course, he's not a real girl, so it would really depend upon whether he'd be comfortable with me dancing for other guys."

Ranma shook his head. "Hey, looking doesn't mean you're going to take things any farther, right? It doesn't bother me. Besides... I was thinking that the money would be pretty good, and if we were both doing it..."

Kasumi beamed. "Great! You two can do girl on girl! It'll be perfect!"

"Gotta hand it to ya, Saotome," Nabiki said. "I figured your latest fuck-up was the straw that broke the camel's back, but it looks like you finally did something right."

"Yeah," Ranma replied, "some stuff that needed talked about got talked about. I wasn't sure our relationship was going to be okay, but at the last minute I pulled it out."

An unknown voice shouted, "Just like at the movie theater! Whoo!"

He shuffled uncomfortably. "Can we head back home soon? I've been here for six hours and I kinda need a bathroom."

"Use a tree," Akane replied.

"I gotta go number two."

"That's what poop sacks are for," Genma said nonchalantly. The others stared. "What? You don't all wear a... poop... sack? Damn it, Nodoka! You lied to me about the poop sack!"

"Relax, Ranma," Nabiki said. "You can poo in the wilderness."

"What do I sit on?"

"Just squat, stupid!" Akane said, exasperated.

Ranma started to untie his pants. The other shielded their eyes. "Not here, Ranma!" Nabiki exclaimed. "Go further away!" Ranma stood in a huff. "God, glad you guys know all these poopin' outside rules," he muttered as he walked away.

* * *

**We apologize for the third time for this intrusion from **_**South Park**_**. Those responsible...** aw, what the hell is the use? The story's almost over. It's not like the idiot author listened the last two times. Screw it. Enjoy this shamelessly stolen ending.

Ranma squatted, pulling a harmonica from his pocket. "Poopin' outside," he sang, blowing a blues riff through the harmonica. "Makin' soft-serve ice cream... for all my friends... especially pop..." He stood up, finished. He motioned for Akane to follow. "Okay," he said, "now that I'm relieved, I want to make out. Let's go find a quiet spot." Akane smiled, rushing to him.

Squish.

"Aw, Ranma! You're supposed to bury it!"

* * *

_A/N: Wow, that was truly awful, wasn't it? I feel like Leonard Pinth-Garnell should have done the intro. And if you don't know who that is, get out. Just go._

_Credits for all of the parodies:_

Rake gag: _The Simpsons_, season 5, "Cape Feare". See YouTube video **NmNObROcBOo**

"Those responsible have been sacked": _Monty Python & The Holy Grail_. See YT **NvIKL_pTZFE**

Insults consisting of unusual adjective-noun pairs: Point/Counterpoint from the Weekend Update segment of _Saturday Night Live_, seasons 2-5. See YT **Y7S_XWuKpHc**

"Surely you don't mean that..." _Airplane!_ See YT **WET6A2Ee-A0**

Bill-Cosby's-kids-asking-him-for-chocolate-cake-for-breakfast: Bill Cosby _Himself_. See YT **sRmN4KnfPxQ** at 6:30

Oldest trick in the book: George Carlin, _Brain Droppings_.

_Change The World_: First theme song to _InuYasha_. See **video dot google dot com slash videoplay?docid=-4627899680350170099#**

Sippo: Character from _InuYasha_; cross-parody with _Rocky&Bullwinkle_.

"Just like at the movie theater! Whoo!": _Futurama_, season 4, Spanish Fry.

Pooping outside: _South Park_, season 3, Jakovosaurs.

The poop sack: _Family Guy_, season 6, Back to the Woods. See YT **nmtveNyIcf4** at 0:40

Other running gags from TV series are present... if it's funny, it's probably from a TV show; if not, I probably came up with it.

Oh, and Leonard Pinth-Garnell... that's also from SNL.

_Can you tell I went to college for too long? I just wrote a bibliography for a fanfic..._

_I had the idea for this fic a while ago. My plan was a fic that would be so bad that it was good. As I wrote it, it became more and more apparent that it was... well... just bad. Really, really bad. Jimmy Kimmel on a good night bad. But, I've been putting off the next chapter of "Chill Pill" for this, so I decided I'd get it finished._

_And I do wholeheartedly apologize for the garbage you just had to sit through. Now you know how the screen-test audience at Titanic felt._

_For those of you that follow my work, the next chapter of Chill Pill is on its way. I'd been rushing to get to Ukyo, and now that that chapter is done (and I was happy with it), I wanted to make sure I took the time to make the next chapter good. It's the love potion bracelet, and I know where I'm going to take it. And, I have a new idea for a four-shot, dark fic that I'll probably go ahead and write while Chill Pill is still ongoing._

_Stay tuned!_


End file.
